Thursday, December 29, 2011

game changers

No matter how sick I feel,

washing my face

brushing my teeth

washing under my arms

(and putting on deodorant)

and washing between my toes

- weird, I realize.

These four things

are my game changers.

They make things feel just a tiny bit closer to normal,

make the pain diminish just a bit,

they change the shape of my day.

No matter how you feel,

keep your game changers in your hip pocket,

You might need them one day.

Thursday, December 15, 2011


I have lists upon lists, as I am sure many of you do. I have two girls, making sure they both have the same amount of toys and such is driving me absolutely insane. I know I can’t get them everything on their ever changing lists - IPad, DS-I, puppies & kittens (Charles would kill me), but luckily and strangely, they both asked for hand sanitizer, which is one thing I can actually fulfill! :o)

We had to have the conversation with Robyn this year about Santa. She was just asking too many questions and we felt like we were lying to her all the time. So we told her and brought her into our little world of secrecy. She now enjoys helping us keep the secret from Finley and making it real for her. Although when she found out Charles was the one who ate the cookies and milk, she responded with a resounding “No fair!!!!”

She also is asking many questions about Jesus. As is Finley. It is sweet to watch her play with the nativity - the one from our dear friend Phillip’s mother that we use every year - not fancy, but meant to be played with. She asks who is Jesus’s daddy and who is his mommy. We talk about what Christmas really means, and Robyn explained to Finley, “that is why we give gifts.” I feel very blessed that there is such clarity in her mind about the true meaning of Christmas.

Back to the lists. Just looking at them gives me a panic attack. But in the end, I know it’s not about the lists. I want to show my love so badly. There is no way that I can show them the love that God showed us in sending His only Son to earth. That is one act I cannot follow. Toys and hand sanitizer will never add up to that. But, I bet God enjoys watching them open their presents as much as I do. The looks of awe, extreme joy and pleasure must remind Him of the joy He felt that night so long ago, as He watched Mary hold Jesus in her arms. Her sheer joy as she held His baby boy and love overwhelmed her. He must have felt that same joy that fills our hearts, and makes us laugh out loud as we watch our children’s happiness. Giving gifts. God gave us the best one. We can enjoy getting and giving gifts because He gave the best one. I imagine Him sitting up there watching us with a huge smile on His face, a cup of cocoa in his enormous hand, and slapping His knee with a hearty laugh now and then as joy fills His heart at our joy. That is my picture of Christmas. That is what is really on my list.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

if i were there

if I were there

i’d knock on your door

i’d give you a great big hug

then i’d hold you and let you cry

then we’d eat an enormous amount of homemade cinnamon rolls

because the ticket still counts

then we’d cry

then we’d play a really fun game

and laugh out loud

then we’d cry

then we’d order a pizza - minus the nuts of course

then we’d cry

then we’d watch a suspenseful movie

and jump at all the same parts

then we’d curl up in bed

and cry just a little more

as we fell asleep