Thursday, March 22, 2012

prayers and hand sanitizer

I got that dreaded call from the school today. Robyn had thrown up and was at the nurse’s office. We got her home and, I swear, I am trying my very best to balance caring for her with frantically washing my hands every 2 minutes so as not to catch this bug. I keep imagining my stomach hurts, and there is a very good chance that I will imagine my way right into throwing up. Charles always says it’s half mental. And, of course, he refuses to believe it is a bug. He keeps saying she ate something that made her throw up. All the while, I’m about to puke up my banana with peanut butter because of this stomach bug ripping through our family. Oh yeah, the cat threw up this morning too. Proof.

Second dreaded call of the day. Apparently today’s the day for dreaded calls. This call makes me even more nauseous than the last. It very well takes up the other half of my brain and now I am fully convinced I am going to throw up. Either from the bug or the call, its going to happen. No hand sanitizer will help.

I’m sure you’re wondering what the call was. Ugh. Even writing about it makes me sick. No more insurance coverage for Lyme Disease. Ahhhhhh. Breathe in, Haaaaa. Breathe out. I am so scared. Here is my big opportunity to trust God to take care of us and I am petrified.

The miracle is that they covered me this long. It has been a year. The financial person at Jemsek’s office just cannot even believe that we have been covered at all. She said that it is extremely rare that anyone with our same insurance gets covered. It is truly only by the hand of God that they approved the first eight months, then reviewed it and said yes, and reviewed it again with the same answer. This review, however, God had a different plan. I have yet to understand what that is, but I know He has one. Maybe He is just teaching me to trust Him more.

I am trying to concentrate on all the amazing parts of this year. God has provided money through friends and family, many of you, for all the parts we had to pay for. He has taken care of us in every way from a home health care nurse to home deliveries of all our medications. We have been so very, very blessed.

We are still very blessed, but this means life will change a little. No more nurse. No more deliveries. Our last round of antibiotics would have cost us roughly $4000, so that’s a little scary to think about as we have another round coming up, but I believe God is going to provide. I know in my heart He is. I think even my head knows it. But my stomach? My head is having a really hard time telling my stomach just to settle down and wait on God.

Somewhere between the insurance and the stomach bug.......there’s sure to be some puking around here......even if only the cat. Especially since “Charles It’s All Mental” has now joined the sick brigade. Proof.

For my part, I am going to be talking to God and keeping that hand sanitizer close at hand.

Friday, March 16, 2012

pain today, gone tomorrow

I’m on a new med. I know, right? Well this med makes me ancy, shaky, you name it, I’ve got the side effect. Naturally, in turn, I am itching to do more. More walking, more laundry, more get the idea, just more. Actually fun for me, and Charles is very appreciative for some help, until the next day when I’m in so much pain I can barely get out of bed. A little exaggeration, but a lot of pain none the less.

So it becomes a vicious cycle. This med is supposed to help with the pain, which it does, but it makes me ancy, which makes me do more, which gives me more...together people...PAIN. So they up the dose and here we go again - ring around the rosy.

What to do - this is the story of every new med, and the list keeps growing.....

Saturday, March 10, 2012

lighter fare

Don't throw rotten apples at me. I know, I know, I have no excuses. I haven't written in forever. All I have is an apology....and a sad smile....with big puppy dog eyes....a single teardrop about to spill over onto my face.....I mean alright already. If you haven't forgiven me by now, I'm going to have to banish you.

I have quite a lighter fare for you today. After all the feedback from the hamburger meat blog, I've decided to go a bit less.......carnivorous.

Let me introduce to my new best friends, Cari, Sabrina, Scott, Emily, Candice, Genevieve, Drew and Jonathan, Anthony and John, as well as the faceless voice from House Hunters and Int’l. My HGTV family.

Taking that remote, feeling its warm comfort in my hand. I point it toward the TV, wondering what narcotic will HGTV have for me today. Reno, Open Concept, Demo, Style Diagnostic, DIY, BRB, LOL, customize, function, texture, comps, footprints, curb appeal, etc. are all part of my everyday vocab now. It seeps into my being and I just can’t help myself.

I turn into that man/boy that can’t take his eyes off Monday night football. I hear nothing, not even the cries of my sweet girls pulling hair and wrestling over the toy of the moment, while a variety of accents lure me into a semi-lucid state that rises above all else.

HGTV is good when you are grumpy. It is good when you are sad. It is good when you are happy. It’s just all around good, clean fun. I hold my banner high, I am addicted.