Thursday, January 19, 2012

magic pants

For my birthday I got magic pants.

These are no ordinary pants. They are magic - I swear.

My sweet cousin friend Tiffany gave them to me. For 6 weeks they hung on my closet door. I was afraid that the magic might not work on me.

See I had never had great luck with the form fitting yoga pant. I always opted for the looser ones - ones that could hide my greatest flaw - the Hinze haunches. I know, I know what you all are thinking. But not matter what size I am, they are always there, big or small, haunting me. I have accepted the fact that they will always be a part of my life. Now against your protests, let’s move on.

My cousin Tiffany and me
I knew these magic pants were not of the loosey-goosey variety. I had seen them on Tiffany - they were T-I-G-H-T tight. They looked great on her  (the Shepherd side of the family - no haunches.) Plus she is in ri-dic-u-lous shape. Gorgeous.

So for 6 weeks they hung in their little red bag, taunting me. Daring me to try them on. I was too chicken. Charles kept saying, “at least try them on. They were a gift - you should try them.” Now I know, as a man, he had ulterior motives. But still, I could not try them.

Finally, I worked up the nerve. I took that bag - that little bag with it’s taunting face - I tore that bag open, grabbed the pants and pulled them on. This was all done in one swift motion before I could lose my courage. I peaked around the corner of my closet - no one was there. Good. I could face the horror alone. I walked out to the mirror. I could not believe my eyes - the magic did work on me! No visible haunches! Magic indeed!

At Lulu Lemon in DC
 If I could have - I would have skipped around the room, danced and twirled, laughing aloud! Ok, I wouldn’t have done all that - except for the laughing aloud part - which I did, I laughed and laughed and laughed. 6 weeks - I had been missing out on this magic for 6 weeks!!!! What had I been thinking?

So, thank you Tiffany for revolutionizing my life! I wear my magic pants everywhere I go. I am saving up to buy another pair. Thank you Lulu Lemon, even your taunting red bag served it’s purpose.

I will be forever grateful!


  1. I.need.a.pair.of.these!!!!
    (my mom’s Italian side gave me haunches, as well... :)

    love you!

  2. I KNEW it!! I knew you hadn't been wearing them! Don't you trust me?! They're the best pants in the world! I'm so glad you love them! Enjoy!! I love YOU!